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Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 3, 2024

She needs her daily sex fix, but doesn't think she's addicted to sex: 'I need my sex fix!'

 

In her search for daily sexual gratification, Lottie has had affairs with colleagues, acquaintances and strangers, both married and unmarried, although she doesn't believe she has an addiction. — MCT filepic

When Lottie (not her real name) sashays down the street, women will turn to look and men will do a double take.

The Penang-born, Kuantan-bred 45-year-old woman who calls Kuala Lumpur home, oozes sex appeal and is considered voluptuous.

She appears confident, fun-loving and has a great sense of humour, but she also harbours a deep secret.

Lottie is a nymphomaniac, a term once used to describe a female with excessive sexual desires.

Today, it is referred to as hypersexuality disorder, compulsive sexual behaviour or sex addiction.

The youngest and only girl among three children, Lottie grew up in a normal, loving household.

She recalls: “There was nothing out of ordinary except that I would hear my mother moaning every night, and sometimes, also in the mornings.

“I thought she was in some kind of pain as I was about six years old then and little did I know that the noises came from my parents having sex.

“I even asked her once if she needed to see a doctor and she laughed.

“She told me I’d understand when I got older.”

It wasn’t until Lottie was 14 that a male schoolmate invited her over to see some “educational” videos, aka pornography, he had stumbled upon in his parents’ bedroom.

One thing led to another and they ended up on the floor.

“It wasn’t a pleasant experience because it was also the boy’s first time, but we really enjoyed watching those videos.

“I finally realised why my mother was grunting and groaning all night long!

“When I was about 16, I went to a party hosted by my brother’s friends and alcohol flowed freely.

“A stranger picked me up here, thinking I was much older because of my over-developed body parts and led me to the bedroom.

“Obviously, he was pretty skilled in foreplay; when he put on a condom and performed the act, it was out of this world!” she says.

They had another go that night and Lottie was in heaven.

That was how her addiction started.

She says: “I felt guilty, disgusted and ashamed, but couldn’t stop thinking about it although I never saw him again.

“I’d ‘play’ with myself, but it didn’t give me the same sensation.

“So I’d watch videos and visualise myself having sex.”

Thankfully, her schoolwork didn’t suffer, but boys started paying attention to her.

Lottie “tested” a few of them, but since they were young and inexperienced, she didn’t get the thrill she desired.

At university in Australia, she went online and actively sought partners.

“That’s how I found my first ‘mat salleh’ boyfriend.

“Sadly, he couldn’t keep up with my needs and introduced me to sex toys.

“We broke off after two years, but for a while, we continued having sex even after he found himself a new girlfriend.

“No strings attached because we no longer had feelings for one another,” shares Lottie, a senior personnel at a multinational corporation.

She has had sexual relationships with colleagues, acquaintances and strangers, both married and unmarried.

These encounters take place in her condominium, motels, and even on the office grounds.

Sometimes, if the man becomes a regular partner, Lottie doesn’t use protection, although she is on birth control pills.

She says: “I go for pap smears every year, and except for one scare, everything has been good.

“I don’t think it’s an addiction.

“No one knows about my fetish and I don’t intend to tell anyone – I’m not breaking up any marriages.

“I love my body and sex is my source of pleasure, comfort and validation.”

Lottie is in a serious, monogamous relationship at present, but is not sure if she wants to settle down.

“Actually, I’ve gotten old,” she says with a chuckle.

“Previously, I’d need two ‘fixes’ a day, but now I only need one – a good one, not a quickie.”

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Sunday, September 24, 2023

The financial impact of having a stroke

 

One way to alleviate some of the costs incurred after a stroke is to review your health insurance to ensure you are getting all the benefits you are entitled to. — Freepik

A big financial impact

The aftermath of a strokr can be expensive with medicines, assistive devices, home modifications, and caregiver costs, coupled with potential loss of income. 


The financial impact of a stroke can be overwhelming and unpredictable.

The lifetime cost of ischaemic strokes – which comprise over 80% of strokes and are caused by blockage of blood vessels supplying part of the brain – were estimated at US$140,481 (RM659,698).

This includes the cost of inpatient care, rehabilitation and follow-up care.

A study that looked at the cost of post-stroke outpatient care in Malaysia in 2015, found that the average total cost incurred was US$547.10 (RM2,569.18).

Of this figure, 36.6% was spent on attendant care, 25.5% on medical aids, 15.1% on travel expenses, 14.1% on medical fees and 8.5% on out-of-pocket expenses.

The main factor in the cost of post-stroke outpatient care was the severity of the stroke.

Increased costs was also associated with a haemorrhagic stroke – the other main type of stroke, which is caused by the bleeding, or haemorrhage, of a blood vessel in the brain.

Leading a safe and cost-effective life post-stroke requires a combination of self-care, medical management and lifestyle adjustments.

Here are some steps that can help:

> Follow medical advice

It’s important to follow your healthcare provider’s advice on medication, rehabilitation and lifestyle modifications.

This may include taking medication as prescribed, attending rehabilitation sessions, and making changes to your diet and exercise routine.

> Manage chronic health conditions

If you have other chronic health conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes, it’s important to manage these conditions to reduce the risk of future strokes and other health complications.

> Make home modifications

Consider making modifications to your home to reduce the risk of falls and improve your safety.

This may include installing grab bars, non-slip mats and handrails.

> Use assistive devices 

Assistive devices such as canes, walkers and wheelchairs, can help you maintain your mobility and independence.

> Adopt healthy habits

Adopting healthy habits such as eating a balanced diet, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep, can help you maintain your overall health and reduce the risk of future strokes.

> Stay socially active

Staying socially active and engaged can help reduce the risk of depression and improve your overall quality of life.

Consider joining a social group or doing volunteer work.

> Manage finances

Stroke can have a significant financial impact on the family, especially if the stroke patient is the sole breadwinner.

So it’s important to manage your finances carefully.

By following these steps and working closely with your healthcare team, you can lead a safe and cost-effective life post-stroke.

Managing the financial impact


As mentioned above, no doubt, one of the biggest challenges post-stroke would be the financial impact on the patient and their dependents.

Financial burdens following a stroke may be due to medical expenses and decreased income because of the inability to work, whether it is the patient themself or a family member who has to quit their job to become a full-time caregiver to the patient.

Addressing financial needs post-stroke can be challenging, but here are some strategies that can help:

> Review your insurance coverage

Examine your insurance coverage to make sure it includes all the necessary benefits and services, such as rehabilitation and home healthcare.

Consider speaking with an insurance specialist to ensure you are getting the most out of your coverage.

> Explore disability benefits

If you are unable to work because of stroke, you may be eligible for disability benefits.

Socso provides a range of benefits for employees, including medical treatment, rehabilitation and financial assistance.

There are also many NGOs (non-governmental organisations) that offer financial assistance to stroke patients and their families, including the National Stroke Association of Malaysia (Nasam), Stroke Care Malaysia, etc.

These organisations can help with medical bills, transportation costs and other expenses related to stroke care.

> Create a budget

You and your dependents should review your daily expenses and financial commitments to see what can be adjusted to compensate for the decrease in income and increase in stroke-related expenses.

A leaner budget might have to be created for the family to follow, to ensure that you don’t go into unsustainable debt, or even bankruptcy.

What’s good for yourself

It is also important, though challenging, to develop a sense of what is good for oneself after a stroke.

Here are some methods that can help:

> Listen to your body

Pay attention to your body and how it responds to different activities and situations.

Take note of what makes you feel better or worse. and adjust your routine accordingly.

> Set realistic goals

Set achievable goals that are tailored to your abilities and interests.

This can help you build confidence and a sense of accomplishment, which can improve your overall well-being.

> Prioritise self-care

Make self-care a priority, including getting enough rest, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in physical activity, as recommended by your healthcare providers.

> Seek support

Connect with others who have experienced stroke or other health challenges.

Consider joining a support group or seeking individual therapy to help you process your emotions and develop coping skills.

> Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga or deep breathing, can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and develop a greater sense of inner calm and well-being.

> Experiment and adjust

Be willing to experiment with different approaches to self-care and self-discovery, and be open to adjusting your routine as needed.

By focusing on self-care, seeking support, and staying open to new experiences and perspectives, stroke patients can develop a greater sense of what is good for themselves and their overall well-being.

In a nutshell, it is not impossible for a person to regain a normal life after a stroke.

The real challenge lies in how stroke survivors can manage their post-stroke life and deal with the challenges from then on effectively.

Remember, there will always be light at the end of the tunnel for stroke survivors!

Dr Lee Tze Yan is a senior lecturer in molecular medicine at Perdana University. Matthew Teo Yong Chang is an occupational therapist specialising in stroke rehabilitation and senior lecturer at Manipal University College Malaysia. For more information, email starhealth@thestar.com.my. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only, and should not be considered as medical advice. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this article. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.