She needs her daily sex fix, but doesn't think she's addicted to sex: 'I need my sex fix!'

 

In her search for daily sexual gratification, Lottie has had affairs with colleagues, acquaintances and strangers, both married and unmarried, although she doesn't believe she has an addiction. — MCT filepic

When Lottie (not her real name) sashays down the street, women will turn to look and men will do a double take.

The Penang-born, Kuantan-bred 45-year-old woman who calls Kuala Lumpur home, oozes sex appeal and is considered voluptuous.

She appears confident, fun-loving and has a great sense of humour, but she also harbours a deep secret.

Lottie is a nymphomaniac, a term once used to describe a female with excessive sexual desires.

Today, it is referred to as hypersexuality disorder, compulsive sexual behaviour or sex addiction.

The youngest and only girl among three children, Lottie grew up in a normal, loving household.

She recalls: “There was nothing out of ordinary except that I would hear my mother moaning every night, and sometimes, also in the mornings.

“I thought she was in some kind of pain as I was about six years old then and little did I know that the noises came from my parents having sex.

“I even asked her once if she needed to see a doctor and she laughed.

“She told me I’d understand when I got older.”

It wasn’t until Lottie was 14 that a male schoolmate invited her over to see some “educational” videos, aka pornography, he had stumbled upon in his parents’ bedroom.

One thing led to another and they ended up on the floor.

“It wasn’t a pleasant experience because it was also the boy’s first time, but we really enjoyed watching those videos.

“I finally realised why my mother was grunting and groaning all night long!

“When I was about 16, I went to a party hosted by my brother’s friends and alcohol flowed freely.

“A stranger picked me up here, thinking I was much older because of my over-developed body parts and led me to the bedroom.

“Obviously, he was pretty skilled in foreplay; when he put on a condom and performed the act, it was out of this world!” she says.

They had another go that night and Lottie was in heaven.

That was how her addiction started.

She says: “I felt guilty, disgusted and ashamed, but couldn’t stop thinking about it although I never saw him again.

“I’d ‘play’ with myself, but it didn’t give me the same sensation.

“So I’d watch videos and visualise myself having sex.”

Thankfully, her schoolwork didn’t suffer, but boys started paying attention to her.

Lottie “tested” a few of them, but since they were young and inexperienced, she didn’t get the thrill she desired.

At university in Australia, she went online and actively sought partners.

“That’s how I found my first ‘mat salleh’ boyfriend.

“Sadly, he couldn’t keep up with my needs and introduced me to sex toys.

“We broke off after two years, but for a while, we continued having sex even after he found himself a new girlfriend.

“No strings attached because we no longer had feelings for one another,” shares Lottie, a senior personnel at a multinational corporation.

She has had sexual relationships with colleagues, acquaintances and strangers, both married and unmarried.

These encounters take place in her condominium, motels, and even on the office grounds.

Sometimes, if the man becomes a regular partner, Lottie doesn’t use protection, although she is on birth control pills.

She says: “I go for pap smears every year, and except for one scare, everything has been good.

“I don’t think it’s an addiction.

“No one knows about my fetish and I don’t intend to tell anyone – I’m not breaking up any marriages.

“I love my body and sex is my source of pleasure, comfort and validation.”

Lottie is in a serious, monogamous relationship at present, but is not sure if she wants to settle down.

“Actually, I’ve gotten old,” she says with a chuckle.

“Previously, I’d need two ‘fixes’ a day, but now I only need one – a good one, not a quickie.”

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Internet addiction on the rise among Malaysian youths, Asians one of the most addicted to the Internet

Enough evidence to show links to anxiety, decreased job productivity, says expert.

CYBERJAYA: A 14-year-old boy loved gaming so much that he did not leave his home for half a year until his parents hauled him to therapy for Internet addiction.

This sounds like a story that happens in Japan, China or South Korea, where teenagers have died from binging on their computers. But this case happened right here in Kuala Lumpur.

At the International Society of Internet Addiction (Isia) Conference here, researchers said they were most worried that Malaysian youth were increasingly using the Internet in excess, with local studies revealing that 37% of Malaysian parents felt their children’s online life was interfering with their home and school obligations while 18% said their children were sacrificing basic social activities.

The research, led by child psychologist and Isia spokesperson Dr Norharlina Bahar, found that males under the age of 24, from the Klang Valley, Ipoh or Penang, were the most susceptible to Internet addiction in Malaysia.

“Most spend time on online games and browsing social media and there is enough evidence to show links to anxiety, depression, physical health problems, school disconnection, unemployment, decreased job productivity and social isolation,” she said.

Studies have also found frequent use of the Internet could translate to low self-esteem, depression, boredom and attention-deficit hyperactive disorder.

“There is no denying that Internet eases our life but when it affects your mental health capacity and interferes with your day-to-day work, then you need help,” she added.

In the case of the young boy, Dr Norharlina said he became irritable and angry when he was cut off from the digital world by his parents as part of the treatment.

“This is becoming a bigger problem now,” she said.

The challenge for the academic community is translating their data into tangible policies, as definitions of Internet addiction are still being worked out, she added.

That is something the Malaysian Communication and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) is seeking to address, by adapting research on Internet addiction into guidelines that can be used by school counsellors or pa­rents to identify addiction in adolescents, said MCMC advocacy and outreach senior director Eneng Faridah Iskandar.

“We want to know when is usage going to be a problem. When should I start regulating my child’s use of the Internet? We want to develop self-help tips that parents can use,” she said.

The conference was attended by 200 researchers and psychologists from 10 countries to present their findings on Internet wellness and discuss policies to address the effects of the digital world on users’ health.

Asians one of the most addicted to the Internet

CYBERJAYA: The Middle East, North America and Asia have the highest number of people addicted to the Internet, said Hong Kong University (HKU) Psychology. Department Associate Dean Prof. Dr Cecelia Cheng.

Dr. Cheng, who presented the findings of a HKU study on Thursday said that findings suggest that the more a country experiences traffic jams, air pollution and low life satisfaction, the more likely its citizens will be addicted to the Internet.

She added that out of 31 countries surveyed, European and South American nations had the smallest number of people addicted to the Internet. “Basically if the life satisfaction of a country is low, the people in that country are more likely to be addicted to the Internet, particularly gaming,” she said.

Speaking at the International Society of Internet Addiction (ISIA) conference here, Dr Cheng added that there was a link between countries that have high levels of air pollution and Internet addiction.

“The study suggests that the problem of Internet addiction could be linked with the external environment that drives people indoors. Low life satisfaction also suggests that people look to the Internet for escapism when they are dissatisfied with the outside world,” she said.

Dr Cheng pointed out that less people are addicted to the Internet in Europe because pollution and crime rates are generally lower.

“In Europe, and people there can afford to engage in more outdoor activities than those in the Middle East and Asia,” she said.

She added that improving the quality of environmental conditions might encourage residents to engage more in outdoor activities rather than relying solely on browsing the Internet at home for stress relief.

Malaysia was not surveyed in the HKU study, but local authorities suggested that Internet addiction was a rising trend here too. According to the Malaysian Communication and Multimedia Commission (MCMC), 50.4% of children already have a smartphone by the age of 12 and Malaysians have a 100.4% penetration rate for Internet connectivity and a 143% penetration rate for cellular use.

An ISIA study led by Dr Norharlina Bahar also found that the prevalence of problematic Internet users in Malaysia could be as high as 49.2%, with people spending at least five-hours in front of screens daily.

In last year’s World Happiness Index which measures a country’s general wellbeing, Malaysia ranked 61 out of 161 countries, behind Singapore, Indonesia, Thailand and the Philippines.

By Nicholas Cheng The Star/ANN

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